Musicluvva's Blogg

Sandi Tom

2006-06-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

I'm SOOOO ANGRY.

SANDY TOM IS THE GREATEST SINGER SONGWRITER ALIVE, and probably always will be.

That's right! and shut up if you don't think so. I bet there are people out there who reckon she's stupid, but actually their stupid if they think she's stupid. FACT: Everyone's stupid to someone else. How are we to judge who's stupid and who's not stupid? Don't be stupid, no-one can. So stop calling people stupid, it's utterly ridiculous. Your stupid is entirely relativitous to someone else's 'stupid.' Oh yeah, I've seen loads of people saying "Sandi Tom is stupid beacuse she doesn't realise that Punk Rockers don't wear flowers in their hair." Well IT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED, you stupid idiot. How are you to know that once during the whole of history a punk rocker didn't fall over in a field once and INADVERTENTLY end up with some flowers stuck in their hair? It might have happened. Punk Rockers have famously greasy hair to which flowers might stick, or alternatively they might get a bunch of flowers wedged in their mohican (if they had one, think about it.)

A punk could leave the countryside and walk around for DAYS without noticing the flowers on their head, and maybe it's such a Punk Rocker that Sandhi Tom saw and wished that she could be, which of course she could have been if it weren't for the SYSTEM and people GETTING HER DOWN. So stop being stupid and SHIT UP.

When I first heard "I Wish I Were A Punk Rocker" for the first time I actually cried, and the dental assistant had to ask me what was wrong. I replied that the lyrics spoke to me on a totally fundamental level. I think this is because I've recently become a student of economics.

My parents didn't understand why I wanted to do a course in Economics, but they should ghave done, because it all started when I was younger than I am now. When I was small we did a trip to a farm, and I asked the old farmer exactly how cows went to sleep. Now try as he might, that farmer couldn't give the answer that I wanted, and I'm not afraid to admit that I cried in the car on the way home as a result. Looking back, I think that farmer might have rubbed off on me: becuase since then I've always wanted to know exactly how the world works, and I won't take no for an answer. Hence my course in economics which I've recently started which is proving very time consuming but ultimately satisfying - much like economics itself!.

So I'll explain to all those peopl who don't think Sandy Tom is completely brilliant how her song explains how all the systems in the world actually work. It will take the form of an essay which might contribute to my course. Pay attention, you might LEARN something.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

I think I've made my position clear on how a punk rocker with flowers in their hair is logistically possible. One should draw consideration aside from the logical possibilities of such an event (where no doubt some sort of formulae could be devised to show probability.) Instead, we should examine in more detail the wonderful line "In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air." IS this true? yes it is. It can be factually proven. Even if they're weren't any 'actual' revolutions in these specific years (like the French revolution or the Industrial revolution, both of which happened at specific times) then revolution was still "in the air" because the sense of revolution was still "in the air" a bit like a powerful odour remains in the room for some time after the original incident.

Some critics believe that Sandie Tom's assertion of I was born to late too a world that doesn't care is perhaps a subjective comment. But I believe otherwise. I believe that the world, indeed, does not care. This is evidenced by the large number of idiots who don't like this song. It's a self-contained proof. If you think about it long enough, it's extremely clever.

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,

Some people fasceitiously point out that Her Majesty The Queen does not play guitar. How do they know how talented she is? Maybe she plays guitar in her spare time. Maybe she plays a lute, and Sandy Tom is speaking metaphorically. What you should really be asking yourself is: What does Sandi Tom know that I don't? What sort of conspiracy is there in a world where heads of state SECRETLY play the guitar? The sad fact is that music can be used for evil as well as good.

When music really mattered and when radio was king,

This is where Sandie's words really speaks to my heart as well as my conscience. I for one am a great fan of music, (I am called Musicluvva after all!) and it is for this reason that I believe that there is far too much music in the world. Like when you have to prune a bush, or when you have to give away some of the Hamster's litter to friends or a pet shop or in the worst case scenario when the Hamster won't stop making babies just bury them alive like my Dad did, I think we should cut down on the amount of music we have on this small planet. I think that people don't get involved in music much any more not in the way they defintely used to because they're confused as to what they should listen to. IN this line of her brilliant lyric, Sandi is, along with serious lovers of music like myself, proposing that only the most popular music should be allowed to survive. Something like the top 15% would probably keep everyone going; that way you could be assured of quality, and not swamped by quantity. Think of all the artists they used to have in the old days! The Beatles, Elvis, The Rolling Stones, Maddona, Cyndi Lauper! All quality acts, because they were actually allowed to breathe. Today they would be stifled to death by needlessly obscure bands and all the weird stuff you can get on Amazon.com.

When accountants didn't have control,
And the media couldn't buy your soul,

As a student of economics I can tell you that everything you've heard is true: Accountants do indeed have utter control. As Sandy Tom's lyric accurately suggests, this unseen coupe d'estate of the new world order occured shortly after Christmas 1977. You can tell by the fact that these days everyone's lives are ruled by money in a way they for sure weren't during Victorian or Elizabethan* times. The question is: will you stand up and be counted? Well you shouldn't, because that's how the government knows what number you are.

*Elizabeth 1.

And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything.

Some people argue that this is a silly line because we still don't "Know Everything". Well, exactly: and who wants you to believe that? The accountants.

Research reveals that the scary computer is HAL from 2001 a space odyssey.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

I think I've said all I need to on the subject of the chorus.

When popstars still remained a myth,
And ignorance could still be bliss,

In this intensely rhyming verse, the author posits the notion that a pop star should maintain their decency unlike, say Britney Spears who's currently shambling all over the place like a total drunken slag. Oh myGOD, have you seen that picture of her with the baby? And the beer? I'm sorry but she's just such a bad mother, it's obvious. I mean she's saying that it's all blown up out of porportion and the media are just showing the bad side but I don't think we need much more evidence about what she's behaving. If it were up to me I'd take that baby away. There was that thing with her driving with the baby on her lap, imagine what would happen if she drove into a wall? People should wise up and remove that child from her posession, and in adddition I think she should have her ovaries removed. And if she asks to adopt they could just say, "No, look, we've got the pictures of you driving with a baby in your face."

And when God Save the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale,
When my mom and dad were in their teens,
And anarchy was still a dream,

This verse is not a plea for destructive anarchy, which as a punk rocker with "flowers" Tom would not necessarily condone or desire. Thom is saying that with all the stabbings and terrorism and paedophiles anarchy is happening now and is now and real and that in 1969 and 1977 it was a BAD dream (also known by psychologists as a nightmare.) This nightmare is probably one that her mother had as the aforementioned teenager. I don't know what the thing about the Queen means but any future scholars attempting to decipher it should certainly bear the stuff about her playing the guitar in mind.

And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail.

I'm so pointedly fed up with all these smart alecs who say "Well, what, they didn't have TELEPHONES in 1969, is that what she thinks?" Well I've got some socialist history for you, smarty-pants: not everybody had a telephone in those days. Perhaps Sandy Tomm's parents didn't have a telephone, and this is their truly sad story, which once more proves that Sandi is singing from the HEART and certainly not from some lesser organ.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

Once more, the chorus is an area previously analysed.

When record shops were on top,
and vinyl was all that they stocked,

Vinyl was a form of musical reproduction famous in the 60s and 70s.

It should be noted that Sandi Thom is singing generically about record shops being "on top," which was where they were usually to be found before the 1980s. I know some current-day record shops that are still actually on top, like Dan's Records in Hemel Hempstead which is on top of the Starburger.

and the super info-highway was still drifting out in space,

Here is where we're deep into the dark truth behind the modern world. The super-info highway* the source of most of our modern information, the thing that links all our computerised homes together, does actually originate from space. This is also the sole conclusion my ecnomics course has led me to. More worrying still: if you think about it, WWW is just like 666, except with W's.

*Sandi sings about the internet using this metaphor because the terms "Internet" and "World Wide Web" are actually registered trade marks.

Conclusion: In league with the guitar / lute playing her royal majesty the Queen, technological space creatures and maybe even The Devil, power-mad Accountancy is using meaningless and obscurist music to create a sense of anarchism and terror in the modern world, and has been doing so since the end of the Seventies.

This is probably something Sandie has discovered in making her podcasts to a million people. She was simply trying to give people the gift of music and maybe she plugged her modem in the wrong way round, and got all this secret information downloading onto her laptop instead. So she's singing with all her mite that we must go back to a better age, a better time when music was a binding force between us, and not something that made us stroke our chins and discuss stuff, because that's POINTLESS.

That's what made me cry. It's so true it beggars belief.

kids were wearing hand-me-downs,
And playing games meant kick arounds,
And footballers who had long hair and dirt across their face.

Cleverly, this verse is just harmless filler so that the powers that be don't spot the dangerous message too easily.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

Sandi Thom then finally repeats her refrain at the end of the song, in order to emphasise the point.

Thirteen Senses

2005-05-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I have noticed that the important and beneficial band "Thirteen Senses" have been receiving unsolicited cutting remarks and snide put-downs from forums like Choke that I will not name on this blog for the sake of decency.

WARNING

If you go to forums like the Choke forum you will be confronted by people using appalling and abusive language. I am keeping a list of all this appalling language in a special locked drawer at home, and at some point intend to present it to the Police under the freedom of information act. If you need for one moment to be convinced of the appallingness of Choke's tactics and the blackness of their sentiments, you can leave a message on my blog here and ask for me to send you the list of extreme language, which I will do if you promise not to disseminate it under the freedom of information act. But I WARN you, it contains words that will offend and upset anyone with even the slightest shred of human decency, even when those words are not spelt properly.

MY DEFENCE OF THIRTEEN SENSES

thirteen senses surrounded by some well-known fans. It's actually quite hard to find a picture of Thirteen Senses on the internet. When you google the phrase "Thirteen Senses" you tend to get a lot of pictures of people who actually have thirteen senses, like people who can hear twice, or have more than two hands.

When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live/
You know you did, you know you did/
You know you did/
But in this ever changing world in which we live in which makes you break down and cry/
Say "Live and Let Die"
(Horn section.)

At the moment lots of people are saying that they're quite happy living, thankyou, and they'll gladly let Thirteen Senses die, which is cruel and pathetic. Therefore in this post of my blog I'm standing up for Thirteen Senses and their elegantly phrased paellas to modern existence. I will give you thirteen reasons why Thirteen Senses are the best band to come out of a local area since Massive Attack, or Supergrass.

1.) According to Steve Lamackque, Thirteen Senses write songs which sound like a "rolling landscape." It should be emphasised that this landscape is not rolling towards you, but rather rolling in many directions at once, wherever the breeze takes it. It is also not an urban landscape.

2.) Thirteen Senses have paid their dues.

3.) Thirteen Senses walk the fine line between madness and a regular existence.

4.) Their album is a succinct masterpiece of economy and logical phraseology. Each track has an intense symmetry. For instance: Thematically and sonically, track one resembles track two. Track two resembles track four, track three resembles track one, etcetera. It sounds like a million dollars. The band have literally spent hours ensuring that the album resembles something like the elegant marble tiling on an opulent bathroom floor.

5.) The lyric "Satellites contain us / Traffic lights control us" is so beautiful it often makes me cry. It is one of the truest things I've ever heard.

6.) They have a photoshoot in which they play draughts by an open fire. If you don't see the significance and brilliance in that, then I just feel sorry for you.

7.) The band are unique and instantly recognisable, as evidenced by this minipop portrait of the band:

It's obvious who's who there, right? And yeah, for all those who say they just look like Coldplay, well if that was a minipop of Coldplay Gwyneth Paltrow would be in it, so you're not so smart now are you?

8.) It really annoys me that people are always saying "well yeah, Thirteen Senses are just Coldplay." Well they're NOT. I could give you twenty good reasons why they're not, including the fact that they don't have the same songs and their videos are slightly different. But even if they ARE like Coldplay, why does that matter so much? Surely there's room in this big old world of ours for two bands who are like Coldplay, especially as Coldplay are so good at what they do? Why should Coldplay have all the fun? Why not have two bands like Coldplay, or three or even four or five? Why are you such a fascist? I for one predict many bands like Coldplay will be forming sometime in the near future, and why not? It's a basic human right.

9.) They're not like Keane, either. Just pbeacause they're got a piano you think their like Keane. They're not. Elton John has got a piano, Mariah Carey has got a piano, Coldplay have got a piano. Are they "like" Keane? Answers on a postcard please to "NO, OF COURSE THEY'RE NOT LIKE KEANE, Musicluvva's Blogg, Musicluvva."

10.) Coldplay's new album is going to be much harder and darker, apparently, which ultimately will put Thirteen Senses in their rightful place as the new dinstinct heirs to the lighter sound of Coldplay. I predict great success for Thirteen Senses when this occurs. And also for Coldplay, of course, despite the fact that the new album is likely to contain some uncomfortable and emotional moments. It's a truism that sometimes we need to see the dark side of fame and fortune, in order to learn from those who have been there, like Chris Martin and Michael Barrymore. Let's keep our fingers crossed for him (Chris Martin.) I think the band are going to pleasantly surprise us.

11.) If I hear one more person say that they think Coldplay's music is "wimpy" or "boring" or (in the case of my Grandma) "sleepy" I swear I will hit them. Coldplay have written some of the most astounding melodies of their generation. Tunes like "In My Place" have chiming drums and consistent guitars fading in and out like a gorgeous sunset. And can you imagine how long it took Chris Martin to learn the backwords lyrics to 'The Scientist," to film the video where he walks backwards into a car crash? It was NOT done digitally. Why do people slag off talent and interesting ideas? What have they got against backwards action in videos?

12.) I hardly think that Coldplay would have received so much money and attention if their music wasn't somehow affirmative.

13.) Finally, I honestly believe that if I had to take a record onto a desert Island (and it was the end of the programme where Sue Lawley asked me if I could only take one, which one would I take) I would take "Don't Panic" by Coldplay. The various reasons would include: it's a beautiful song, and quite short so I could play it more often. It also has the title of 'Don't Panic" and would help with terrifying incidents I would no doubt experience every now and then on the island, if I got attacked by wasps or a shark came onto the beach.

My favourite bands

2005-03-30T14:02:00.000-08:00

Musicluvva’s favourite bands

Favourite Rock Band
The Stereophonics: For successfully producing a genuine rock sound which is both sullen and respectful.

Plus, they have a series of interesting videos.
http://www.stereophonics.com/

Favourite Progressive Rock Band
Queen: For single handedly reinventing the rock song with their number one Christmas single “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

But we should look beyond the hits! Their albums (including the famous one which has “Bohemian Rhapsody” on it,) are incredibly worth investigating. Some of Brian May’s guitar solos make you question your very existence.
http://www.queenonline.com/

Favourite Dance Band
Kosheen: For standing up and being counted. For not giving in to the haterz.

People think Kosheen have had it easy, well they haven’t. In their music you can plainly hear the sound of struggle, against systems and haterz and the oppression of the world. But you can also dance to it. It’s like two for the price of one, and how many dance bands (apart from maybe the Prodigy) give you that?
http://www.kosheen.com/

Favourite Boy Band
Blue: For their consistency.

People don’t realise that Blue are intelligent people who apply an amazing depth of research on all their recorded material and videos. When they sing about having “The city on lockdown” they have actually been there, done that. It’s an approach I believe many supposedly more ethnic artists could benefit from.
http://www.officialblue.com/

Favourite Girl Band
Girl Thing: For being genuinely inspirational.

It’s sad that people have already forgotten Girl Thing, as evidenced by a poll I recently took of a number of people all of whom had completely forgotten Girl Thing. They were responsible for some amazing videos in which it was demonstrated that Girls could also cause a rumpus and invade weddings and cause trouble there, not just boys. Since then Busted have made a similarly brilliant video on the same theme (which, knowing the boys from Busted, was probably a hommidge,) but it was Girl Thing who did the first original take on invading a wedding and causing all sorts of fuss, investing it with a sassiness and bite that made for a genuinely memorable video. I imagine people have only forgotten it because of all the drugs they take. But the video also had a very important message which was: Don’t get married unless you really want to!!! It was both poignant and stratospheric. Of course, now Jodi from Girl Thing is putting her acting skills to good use in gritty Channel 4 drama Hollyoaks, so it wasn’t all a complete waste of time.
http://www.girlthing.uk.com/

Favourite Soslo Artiste
Kylie: For being so temporally alterable.

Some people say Kylie is “just a bottom.” Well if she was just a bottom she’d look pretty silly on Top Of The Pops, wouldn’t she? Can you imagine that? Just a bottom singing into a microphone? That’s amazingly stupid.
http://www.kylie.com/

Favourite International Band
The Scissor Sisters: for finally putting Scotland on the map.

The Sicssor Sisters are one of those amazing bands who truly have something for everyone. Ragga, hip hop, drum and bass, it’s all in their music, wrapped up in an extremely appealing contemporaneity which combines aspects of the whimsical and the headstrong. I’ve heard it said of the Scissor Sisters that they’re the first band to “crack the nut of symbiotic pop accessibility” and I’m inclined to agree. One moment they’re writing something that you can swear you’ve heard countless times before, the next moment they produce something that you KNOW you’ve heard before, but it’s so good it doesn’t matter anyway. They demonstrate to all those supposedly clever artists who snipe at being popular and successful that sometimes originality is a horseshoe hanging around your neck. And to those who think that it’s all just ironic: who cares? They are simply the most exciting new band around at the moment, and will continue to be for quite some time.
http://www.scissorsisters.com/

Favourite Local Band
Blackbud: for just being brilliant.

Probably the best thing about Blackbud’s music is that you can hear all their ideas, clearly, in one place. There’s no clutter or uneccessary depth to their music, and on stage they are like a lean joint of meat. Pounding drums, flowing riffs, heavenly vocals and extensive solos: it’s all there and combined into some of the most exciting songs since The Seahorses and Kula Shaker. If you close your eyes, it’s like the 60s again (but without the drugs.) Recently signed to amazing independent label Independientente, Blackbud are soon going to rule the world. Next stop, USA! A friend of mine who knows about these things says they’ll definitely play well on College Radio, due to the fundamentally artistic nature of their music.
http://www.blackbud.co.uk/

Favourite Left Field Band
Mogwai: for their uncompromising ability.

Mogwai are relatively unknown here in the UK, but relatively famous in other territories. You certainly won’t have heard them in the charts! They make an instrumental sound. Their lack of chart success is probably due to the absence of lyrics for the average listener to appreciate, but if you listen carefully there are countless tunes and undertunes within their compositions. I accidentally bought one of Mogwai’s albums, believing it to be the soundtrack to the film of the same name. I wasn’t really all that impressed with the album until I had an idea: make up your own words! And sing along. Here are some words I made up to one of their tracks:

Verse
Butterfly girl
Antennae in the wind
Folded up and stamped upon
Boot in the field
Butterfly girl
Catterpillar yesterday
Tomorrow just a memory
Boot in the field

Chorus (gets very loud)
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Verse two (quiet again)

Butterfly girl
Drink up your milk
Don’t fall in the bath
Pretty butterfly girl

Bit with the sound of a radio (difficult to sing over)

Chorus (loud again)
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRK
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
BUTTERFLY GIRL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

end

http://www.mogwai.co.uk/

I’d be very interested to hear if anyone else has lyrics to Mogwai songs they’d care to share on my Blog. If you think I've missed out any of my favourite bands, please also post a comment.

xxxxx Musicluvva

Why do people slag off bands!!!

2005-03-18T13:06:00.000-08:00

I am starting this blog today.

I have thought long and hard about it because I am a nice person and have reasons. I am starting it because it has come to my attention that people slag off good music, which is horrible and opposite to human intentionality and how we were designed. We were SCIENTIFICALLY DESIGNED to enjoy music. Who are you to argue with what your brain was designed to do?

I have a question for all the music-haters.
They say that life is a big bowl of cherries. If all the music-haters had their way, it would be a big bowl of raspberries. Is life a big bowl of raspberries? No it isn't. It's cherries: FACT.

One of the things that has made me start this blog is the nasty attitude of some forum that I've been on, and another forum I've been on as well. I will not name names of the names of these fora, or the names of the posters and their fake names because I wouldn't want protests and people blocking access to any fora, I believe completely and totally in freedom of thought and freedom of speech to a point. You know, I wouldn't want anyone on these forums crucified, even slightly.

But people ought to know that just because someone stupidly hates music, it doesn't mean everyone has to follow them like a black sheep leading a flock of white sheep out of the field and off a cliff.

Music isn't born bad, it just gets made bad by people giving it a hard time. For instance: Phil Collins used to be good.

This is how my blog will work.
1.) When I read or hear a very bad slagging opinion on a radio or newspaper or frum I will make sure that the media is balanced appropriately, and post a reply on this blog ASAP within a couple of days. In this sense I will ultimately achieve stability. (It might take longer if I'm on holiday.)

This is what I mean by music.
1.) I mean PROPER music, I'm not stupid. I'm talking about music and not some noise you make by sampling a turtle and putting a beat under it. You may think it's avante guard, but I know it's just a turtle sitting on a drum machine having a burp. Do you seriously think people would pay money to SEE that, let alone hear it? For your information, do you know what "Avante Guard" means? It means "watch out!"
Oh, and all those people who will say "Well now Musicluvva, you like the Beatles, and the Beatles were avante guard when they wrote Saregant Pepper" and to that I say THAT'S MY COMPLETE POINT, i.e. they used to be avante guard, but their not any more, are they?

Coming soon will be.
1.) A list of my favourite bands
2.) An essay I'm writing for an international fanzine
3.) It's about the BRIT awards
4.) I will "COPY AND PASTE!" some of the arguments on forumsa that began the thinking behind the blog you read right now.
5.) Reasons why slagging off good bands is crap and ought to be silenced.
6.) More posts on this blog
7.)

XXXXXX Musicluvva